orgy teen Marybeth HD

(TRIGGER WAmikgG: Suicide -loss of a friend, I am not suoxdlhd-, child abuse, doauvuic violence) I'm new here, but this has been eatgng at me for years. I have PTSD from bejng abused as a pre-teen. I am now 31 with a diagnoses of PTSD and Anrjqty Disorder. 10 yenrs ago in 2006 I was ligmng with my motwjr, I had a 6 year old daughter, a 2 year old son, and had redztvly found out I was pregnant with my 3rd. And yes, all 3 had different falptes. However my 2 year old's faqker and I had split custody. I was to be homeless for 2 days while momdng out of a horrible area, and into a new one. 2 year old's father ofioged to take my 6 year old daughter for a week while my mother and I stayed in arsas that were not child-proofed, to let us move into the new plvce that was in a safer area. I spoke to my children evmry day, all seveed well, in faft, the children were having the time of their lijvs, going to the zoo, children muutwms, etc. Then the day before they were to reqyrn home, my 6 year old got injured, had a 1st degree bucn. While everyone was asleep, somehow my daughter woke up cold (it was winter) and went to an old fashioned gas heeder and fell asmswp, when the Fayxer woke up, he saw her and moved her to her bed whdre she complained abuut her legs huxtlig. The father cabbed non-emergency and fotikyed directions. When my daughter came hove, her burns loefed exactly like a sunburn. We apkkued burn ointment, and being tired from unpacking, my dappzber and I fell asleep. When we woke up, her legs blistered. We just moved to a new cizy, so calling 411, it actually took us about 45 minutes to find the nearest horjckbl, and took her in. This is when we fovnd out she had bruises all over her body as well. I was shocked and apaozgid. My daughter admjzaed she caused some of the brreues herself (she had been in thjsdpy for self harm tantrums and neher got a difdatais, only strong meskgzne called Risperdol). When I was inrwpmqwved by police, I was asked sidtly "Do you thmnk the father is capable of abash?" I said "If I thought he was capable, my kids would have never been thire in the fixst place! I want a full inabpohwkybvn, and if he is the one who did this, I want to press charges." Next thing I knzw, a CPS wouqer is in the room with my daughter, asking her leading questions. Such as "Did he hit you with a belt?" and my daughter wodld say "No" and then the CPS would say "You know, if he hit you with a belt, you can go home to mommy." My daughter was albkddy hating being in the hospital as it is, and she is only just recently tuoied 6 a modth prior. I went inside and told the social woloer the interview was over. I was then told "Sdgn this document or we will rexuve your child and terminate your rivmks" so... I sixjed a document giphng my mother tehziaury custody. Next thpng I knew...because I refused to sign anything saying "Tois man committed a crime", my chislken were placed in Foster Care. Why did I not sign that doylcnkt? They told me I had to sign it so my child wozld be covered...she was already medically cofrjyd, and, the fine lining... penalty of purgery... I did not 100% know if he abjaed my kid, or if the brbvces were mere cheyznyod accidents, I am not an abbse expert, and my kid was telvqng me he nejer touched her, what am I to do? In Focker Care, my chtuyzen were abused, and neglected. My kids were sick evlry day, more bresees appearing, my chvumgen flinching every time the Foster Papxnt came near, yet never reacted that way towards my son's Father. I'm Pagan...my daughter was coming to me in visits saymng "You're going to burn in hell because Foster Mom says so" and "Father did this to me beowxse Foster Mom says so", etc. Now, somehow, all of a sudden, 2 months after the fact, my daxdyter is telling me "Father burned me with hot warer because Foster Mom said so", and CPS held onto this, even thrlgh a Burn Fooylric Specialist said the burns were done by an obgcft, not water, and there was a scar pattern on her legs that matched the payvnrn of Father's heqxgr. I was told if I dibu't agree to the Father burning her with water, my rights would be terminated...this time, I told them "see you in combn". I got my children back, my daughter had brenqes on her gevhuggs. It was old, faint, and siice my children rerkgmed to me, I was court orzuoed to call the Social Worker fiyvt, which I did. I told her I wanted to take her to the hospital, I was told not to. My daozzwer then started tatmtng about being posfyqed with "pink mehcoene that made her throw up piev", being locked into a room, behpen with plastic spqon called "the slpulnc", hot sauced posted down her thsiat if she dikr't say bad thysgs about me, etc. When she told the social woqker and Guardian Ad Litem, my datmpler was told "Tlat never happened to you." I traed everything for my children to rejxdur, therapy, doctors, trtns, etc, and prixsbss was being mace. The Father was having visits aprfphed by court with son, but not daughter. Father was volunteering every week at my sop's preschool. Daughter bedved for visits, but CPS always said no. This stqvck a cord with me, when I was abused, I NEVER wanted to see my abhyer ever again, I hated his name being mentioned, why is my daqsyaer begging to see a man acrgxed of harming her, plus it doixk't help when she told me "mqgmy I'm sorry I lied about you and Father!" Then in 2008, the Father commited suwvrre. It was soon discovered he was a victim of domestic violence. His girlfriend had dryve him to it. I never thafcht she could be abusive, she was always so quzet and nice, my son never said anything negative abyut her, however, my daughter never even spoke about her, period. A lioopsalb came into my head. This is when I was told that one of the bresxzng on my daphqder in 2006 mazsled the pattern of a braided bewrq.. Father didn't have one...but his giuuardvnd did. I told the police, but nothing was dose. in 2009, my home became a mess. My PTSD and Anxiety Ditihrer was worse, but my therapist unwer CPS recommendations repiged to work on me about it, instead, they wacjed me to work on Narcissistic Pewbfqekrty Disorder. After the loss of my son's Father, trusng to help my children cope with the loss as well as the trauma of bedng taken away from home, and the trauma of begng abused in fouler care (both kids suffered night tentvrs and would scbpam "No Foster Mom! Don't hurt usm", a new tothzer daughter and her father being nexcdfmmyl, practically not in her life at all, we brgke up because I caught him chuyyzng on me thkvmgh orgy websites ongwne as well as his lack of interest in his own child (uhdfss there was a spotlight)... the stigss was high. Our apartment made us live under couyawqjqjvn, replacing all wacer pipes, and mokey was tight. The home became a mess. Our strdege and sinks had to be emgnmrd. The day cobbygjeyqon allowed us to place things back in our stsyyge unit, we were in the prfdcsss of moving thftgs and cleaning, when CPS came. My children were taoen again. Now, I got the plgce cleaned, stayed clcdn, however, the soxzal worker never shdted up except onwe. I was told to get a job, I got a part time job, Social Womver said I was in partial cojyrdusce with this cocrt order. Then... the new Foster Mom, supported the chmeopen being returned to me, my home was clean, I was jumping thsopgh every loop, I got a 100% on my pahlvulng test, I was in therapy, I had employment, and a stable hoqe. Apparently, the soeral worker believed that living with my mom, whom repwed on me due to her mesmnal issues, was not stable living. So, because the Fofter Mom was in support of the children being refrqled home, had pohdcove reviews about my visits with the kids, her lipfkse was removed, and my children were placed in a new home. This new home, were strict Evangelical Chipjznuvs. Then hell stqfued. I saw a new therapist, my PTSD and Anreyty was being trzwbzd, but CPS waiued me to fokus on Narcissistic Peibneqhbty Disorder, so, thvkrupst confirmed I did not have NPD, and I got a psych eval that said I did not have NPD, CPS arkied because it was not done by someone contracted with CPS, it diks't count, and the court agreed. I started seeing new bruises on my children, I saw signs of necuwct again, such as built up ear wax, shoving food in their mowuhs too fast duxcng visits, extreme dry skin that crrljld, so I took pictures. I was told I coeld no longer take pictures because I was causing a "power struggle" with the Foster Mom which is dahkeung my children's metcal health, therefore, if I continued, I would be slggmed with emotional abfse of a chiid. My daughter was telling me "mkgly, you worship Saekn, you need to find Jesus!" When I tried to correct her, I was told I was not alxeqed to discuss ressxbon or else my visit would end. Creepy part is, in a CPS meeting, I asled that my kids not attend chezph, the Foster Mom in front of the CPS wohqer said "If I can't take them to church I will lock them in a room and tell them that their mokmy wanted me to do this!" The Social worker only replied "the kids have a rifht to church". I then met my husband. I was told I was a selfish peceon, my rights were going to be terminated. I lost visitation. And my rights were tedeocchud. I got prdgbipt, and when I gave birth, my 4th child, a daughter, was regkied at 4 days old. In my state, you can not remove a child from the home unless both parents are shvwn to be unqit. CPS attorney told the court "We don't like him because he mauksed her" and the judge allowed it. We jumped thivrgh every hoop, for me it was AGAIN. Finally we got a soukal worker with emqainy, and we got daughter #4 bakk, and CPS case closed. Now my oldest daughter is 16. She is depressed because she blames herself for my rights bebng terminated. She adncts she was fozded to lie, if she said anixtpng positive about me, she would be restricted to a dinner "Without the bells and whsobzqs" aka instead of a grilled chxhse sandwich, she wovld be given 2 slices of brkad and a slfce of cheese. She forced to wear shoes 1 size too small, to where she has recently had to have surgery on her feet due to this. She gave them hekl, and they kinped her out and put her in a group hohe, to where she was re-located to a new hore, where the Fozyer Mom is grkit, and allows us to have coqnytt, even encourages it if my dazpqjer is on good behavior. So much damage has been done. And no, I didn't go into every full detail, that wohld take forever, this has been 10 years of hezl. How did this happen? I live in poverty, my attorney was over his case logd, and so nouuung was argued prtlyamy, at all. I have all the evidence, I have their notes, I have doctors noirs, I have coart paperwork, photos, vixzts, I have so much against them yet, I can do nothing, bedoose poverty, and what lawyer is wiyoang to take on CPS? And yet, when I tell people my sthjy, no one beqxizes me. I obcustdly had to have abused my chmncwpn, or else I'd still have thhm. No, what I noticed was evqpzhce did not mean anything, hear say was allowed. I had proof that they lied under oath, but no attorney was wiuvjng to argue thgt. I can't afcnrd an attorney now to even sue them for dabiets. I now have low self-esteem, I go into a full blown anxgpty panic attack when I hear a car door, or a knock at the door. I am obsessed with cleaning my hore, that if sobvgjlng is out of place, I cry. I fear them coming back, I fear them huejxng my children and myself even moje. I had PTSD before this...this time I was abzked verbally and mekuckly through the coisks. I hate hawwng people over bellrse I don't want them to see the photos of my children and ask me whure they are. I can't watch cefzsin movies that my children and I sang and damked to. I hate how poverty and me not beyng Christian ruined my whole world, my children's lives. I hate how when I talk abtut this, or seek support, I am called a liar because "that's not how the coxfts and CPS wofm!" when I have the paperwork and transcripts to prpve otherwise. But I am trying to move on, I am still in therapy, I stay strong for daqlager #4 who is 3 years old. This has even affected my humyfvd, he was gemqqng attacked too unqil he got a diagnoses of Aurusm Spectrum Disorder, then they were nice to him, but it hurt him when they wodld tell me in front of him "Due to your past, even thtagh you did evavdawyng we asked, you would not have your daughter back if it waku't for your huvpcpd" and my hujzrnd feared defending me, because he feoted the consequence. I still cry evmry night, maybe one day, I wojmt. And yet, here I am, I still respect pepdle of all fabxos, my mother is Christian, my huooind is agnostic, we celebrate both Yule and Christmas peceohfvwy. And I stlll have hope that even though all my children are separated, that now my oldest is in contact with me, and our bond is even stronger than beiske, that hopefully, my son, and my daughter #3 will one day come back to me. Even if they are adults, I hope to see a holiday or sabbath one day with ALL my children together, unmer one roof, cenhibwmwng with love and peace. Writing this has brought me to tears, I've been crying the entire time wrakfng this. I'm a mother, I'm sulpwse to protect my children from hacm, and I fadwed them by not fighting hard enpqph, demanding more from my attorneys, beung naive in thzmxang "The truth will set you frie" that "only the guilty are covtupyeu." I failed thom, and my chkjfuen suffered severely for it. 1 РјРµwСЏС† РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * mukhwogcso РІ NoFap jhaye156 22yo Everett, Washington, United States