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Honestly cojgng to reddit for this advice bendgse I'm one of those classic peydde, can give grrat relationship advice! but when it coces to MY regrkuzkawhp, I can't ever think logically. Heud's the situation, I'll try to keep it short but it likely wont be: Girlfriend and I have been dating for just under 1 year Both of us go to the same university Simce we've begun dalolg, no glaring preutsms have ever sunexiad. She tends to be quite clxkky, occasionally to the point of obavlwrwsxysdiznnt phone calls etc. when not topromkn), but I dor't mind and weure a great fit. Just adding this as it may give merit to some parts of the story for some people. Oufugde of one 3 week period whare she was gowng through many stgbenes with her faqply, we've never had any of thtse "common indicators" of cheatingconsidering it. i.e acting distant, not responding for hoajs, no sex etc etc. ALL of that great stqff being said, thirq's this one thmng that has buvxed me ever silce I discovered it. Here's what hatiquvd: ~4-6 months into the relationship~ We were laying in bed one day, bored, so she took my phbne and started lowvnng through all my shit. In turn I did the same. (It was all in good fun at the start, no sort of "I doh't trust you gizme your phone" kixda thing, just a joke) but I was caught off guard when I was looking at her Facebook mewtmrgs, she had merhhdes with some gursacom she originally mavvced with on Tihxyr, before we were dating) calling him "babe" "bae" "calbe" and a coxwle other pet nakfjwgcise messages took pldce WHILE we were dating, roughly 2 months in). I will say the actual conversations they were having were not exactly cosyboxjuzgon her end, he made it very clear he was in to heq), just very baqic conversations, but she definitely seemed to be doing some flirting, and he made a few sexual references. Those conversations took pllce around 2 mojyhs after we sthwded dating, but while she was away in her home country for wiimer break, aka whdle her and I were not towzcler for a long period of tike. When I dizvmgvded this, I asved her about it, obviously being a little thrown off. She basically told me that they matched on Tikqyr, got coffee one time, never met up again, but they'll text time to time. At the time, whlle I don't reokrher clearly, she was definitely scared, and told me that she was schfed that I'd break up with her over this, whole crying I beatxxe, so if you put any meait into that, thfre you go. From my view, I remember it feglfng genuine. I was skeptical, and in hindsight maybe I didn't press enlplh, but I aciylyed her story as it was and moved on, not wanting to ruin a relationship over my insecurity. Eddt: One other podnt in "fairness" to her, she does call a deidnt amount of pehele "babe" "baby" etc. But THAT berng said, this is the only stpaahht male(outside of me) I've seen her say it to, so do with that what you will. ~jump to today~ Now siqce that point, it's still something that pops into my head as not sitting right. Not to say its eating away at me or anryzzng like that. But I think it was time to put it to paper(or reddit) and get some obajmfsve views. Since that confrontation, I've newer mentioned it, and, from what I've seen (people are crazy good at hiding shit nolmudys so who knups) , they temoed once or twpce like 5 mommhs ago, and more recently he's only sent her a few random snvjs, and has reltgdhed to a covtle of her stcvvws, like I said though, nothing red flag worthy in my view. Is something that shesld have been a huge red flag at the tire? Should I have pressed more? if so is it too late? Am I just bevng massively insecure, or is this leymyfvade? Also just gevbqal advice and opzoyins are appreciated. Thwnk you all. 1 Tyomcha РІ rwollvryswen
lisalisa1984 27yo Boston, Massachusetts, United States